UPSET & FRUSTRATED

So this isn’t really a writing assignment from my book, but it is my latest blog post. This is how I feel.

Things are getting worse with my mom about her parents. Now my brother is butting in as well. While I am trying to heal, they are making life difficult for the very few that are supportive of me.

Also, my mom made the comment that I have recently spent holidays with that family while Matt was there. I tried to explain, that I was just suppressing my feelings for the sake of everyone else, and now I am now trying to be healthy. I don't think any contact with Matt is healthy for me. I don't know if I'll EVER want to be around him. I think that is completely fair to choose not to be around the person that molested me for five years. I also think it is fair that I never want to be around him again, even if he is family. (The fact that he is family makes it more disgusting, actually.)

My grandparents have had several family celebrations (father's day, birthdays, out of town relative visits) that Matt was invited to. I was unaware of these until I saw the pictures on facebook. I feel like as long as he is welcome there, I am not.

Tonight my mom was rushed to the hospital with gallbladder issues. My dad got in his truck and is rushing to Nashville to be by her side. She has been such a bitch to him about all of this. I worry about him driving all night, and I am pissed at her for having the nerve to expect him to drop his life now to be with her.

She also made drama when she asked about my last visit with my therapist. I told her that as long as we are not going to get along, it's best that I not seek contact with her. She first said..."are you sure you're seeing the right therapist?" SERIOUSLY??? Now it's MY THERAPIST’S fault that she's a psycho?? Then she called a few days later and asked if I was still avoiding her. I reiterated that I am not avoiding her, but I am not seeking out negativity either. She doesn't get it. All she cares about are her parents' feelings.

UGGGHHH....so upset and frustrated.